Homo Erectus Grand River
Video language: English
Writer/director Tony Alizzi and his cast of horny anthropologists are in search of the fabled missing link in Darwin's evolutionary line between apes and humans. What they find is MSR exclusive Joey Russo, making a strong debut, as the half-man, all-hard title character.
While the quest was on for the missing link, Alizzi and his production crew should have been searching for the missing microphones. The sound is terrible. The dialog - much of which is scientific and theological jargon - is often completely unintelligible. For the most part, that's a good thing. The reality of a sextet of porn stars jabbering about the far-reaching religious and ethical implications of stud-napping Russo and transporting him back to the states is beyond ludicrous.
When the cast isn't mumbling ho-hum hokum, they act like the ho boys we expect them to be. Jason Branch and his current real-life boyfriend, Steve Ross, turn a cage they've set up to trap the wildman into a sort of modified glory hole. Ross is a beefy bottom who certainly knows his way around Branch's pole. Ross takes Branch up his hungry hole, and Branch pounds him good and hard. He pulls out and shoots a load on Ross's bubble butt. Ross releases his own oozing load, and Branch shoots a second, even bigger cum rocket. While they steam up the jungle with their sucking, rimming and fucking, we see that they are being watched. Russo's intense eyes are taking in the action, and we can tell he's making mental notes.
During the night, Russo sneaks into the campsite and swipes the men's bag of intimate supplies. He learns quickly. Mansex is good. Safe mansex with water-based lube and condoms is better. Thankfully, Russo doesn't look much like an apeman. He more closely resembles a cross between the classic paintings of Jesus and the film images of Tarzan - after a day at a trendy LA hair salon.
Matt Bradshaw and Damian Ford go into the jungle following a trail of Russo's footprints. They pause long enough to put on a show for peeping-link Russo. Despite Bradshaw's tireless efforts, Ford is unable to will any life into his fat, veiny donkey dong, leaving him Homo Non-Erectus for most of the scene.
The group decides to use humpy Ross as bait to nab Russo. In no time, Russo pops out from behind Ross, and his stiff dick pops out of his loincloth. Russo face fucks Ross in a few positions, making use of strategically placed boulders and other set pieces of convenient heights. Nonverbal Russo is plenty vocal with his grunts and groans. This bungle in the jungle is a bunghole that is fucked full.
Russo is captured. Then Sam Dixon, playing the member of the expedition representing the Vatican (don't ask,) sets Russo free again, albeit briefly. Branch crams his cock down Dixon's throat to punish him for his transgressions. The rest of the hunky spunk junkies get into a hot group scene, with Russo taking center stage. Dixon gets covered with cum, with the last powerful blast coming from Russo.
The MSR slogan is "Where the hottest men are always pigs." Alizzo should have left the brainy dialog to PBS and let his brawny cast get down to the business of wild pig sex. When that happens - like the scenes with Branch and Ross and, later, with Russo and Ross - the results leave all of us Homos Erectus.
Format: avi
Duration: 1:46:01
Video: 684x472, AVC (H.264), 1816kbps
Audio: 250kbps
File size: 1.6 GB
DOWNLOAD FROM FILESMONSTER: Homo Erectus
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